Allie really wanted ice cream, and asked Ibu to give her one. She has been a bit under the weather lately, so Ibu asked her to check with Mama first. She went, and confirmed that Mama is OK with the ice cream. Little did Ibu knows that Allie didn’t asked me! First cheeky lie, and now Allie has a cough this morning. Oh oh oh! At least she has learnt her lesson now ??
– Allie 5 years and 17 days
Today is the 14th of August and we haven’t celebrated! It’s Mama’s bad, still getting everything ready for the goody bags >_<‘
You woke up on your birthday morning and cheered when Mama wished you a happy birthday. “Finally! No longer a baby”, you said. But when Mama said we will celebrate on another day, you were disappointed. “Not even cake? Will I be 6 then when the celebration is here? No presents?”. Mama tried to make a late birthday party sounds fun, extra streamers, extra balloons, extra everything! You bargained and said, ok 2 more days to my party? Mama said 7, and then we settled on 5. You were OK at the end but didn’t want anyone else to congratulate you that day. Even when Airlangga gave you a present, you said you don’t understand why. I guess the concept of a late birthday is not easy to understand, eh? Mama will do better next year, no more late parties!
Happy birthday Allie Ollo Oreo Peanutbutter. You are the best baby in the whole wide world!
“I will be your best friend forever and ever, Mama. Until fifty one-hundred years. And I will not die, so I can stay with you always.”
(Allie, 4 years 8 months)
For work, Mama was away 1 week to Kenya. Allie stayed home with uncle Donny and auntie Inge. Mama heard all great stories about Allie being happy and well behaved, the only minor trouble was the bed time situation, where Allie didn’t want to sleep in the room, preferred the couch instead, and was looking for Mama on the first night during a thunderstorm. All and all, it was a good week despite being away, but it sure felt good to be back home together. The best part about Kenya was the summer breeze and the chilly clear mornings and evenings. It was like our summer in the Netherlands. One day Mama wants to bring Allie travelling, reminiscing and experiencing all one more time!
This morning we had a nice trip to church. You called it church correctly this time, Allie. You now also recognized Mary, the statue in the cave, as you called Her. We prayed before we went home, and you also waved goodbye. “I prayed for a pink unicorn, Mama”. Hmm.. it’s gonna be a journey to teach you about praying, but I guess for now you get the general idea, and you are happy coming to church with me, so one step at a time.
Afterwards you asked Mama about going to the zoo, but being jet-lagged and tired, Mama suggested the mall instead. How boring eh Allie! To make it fun, we watched the Smurf, and boy did you have fun! Mama is so happy to see you fascinated and mesmerized, overall it was a light and happy movie, or as you said if, “today was the best day ever!”. Afterwards we saw a choir performing Disney songs at the mall atrium, and you were again so happy and fascinated with everything. I wish that you will never loose your innocent curiosity, baby. And for you to always be my best movie-buddy. Love and hugs, Mama.
This weekend Allie was Mama’s helper, helping with baking a lemon cake and cooking pasta. You were very curious Allie, not wanting any help. “I can do anything because I am 4 years old. When will I be 5 years old, Mama?”. You frowned when I said you have to wait until August, be patient little Allie!
This Sunday you went with Mama for the 1st time to church. We walked there in a rush as we were late, and you said, “when are we going to arrive at the charger?” You didn’t know how to say church yet, but you had fun there nevertheless. For a little while you sat and prayed with me, but then you were off to the playground playing hopscotch and meeting a new friend. Mama was eyeing you from afar, thinking how did you get so independent already. Climbing, conversing, exploring,.. all by yourself! You were super thirsty so we went home before the mass ended, but that’s OK, it was a successful trial and I am super proud of you!
In the afternoon we went to see Zee the puppy and Yoyo the hedgehog, along with lunch with the family. You played hide and seek with Ollie, and roaming around the house with your Akong, Mak, and uncles. You managed to train Zee to sit and eventhough I think Zee may just sat as a coincidence, you were beaming with pride. You found out that Yoyo eats worms, but still loves him anyway. On the way home, you sang soundtracks from the Trolls and claimed that you want to be a singer when you grow up, a pop star to be precise. It was a fun day, wasn’t it Allie? Mama is very happy with you!
M: “Allie, do you want to be a doctor?”
A: “No mama, I want to be a singer”
(Allie, 4 years and 7 months old)
Lately Allie has been asking questions that make me think. The other day, she asked what does “Congratulations” mean. Seems like a simple question, but I still find it hard to explain it.
We watched Moana on TV this morning, and when there was a scene of the grandma getting sick, she asked me why. I told her it’s because she is old already. When the grandma died, she asked me again why. I told her sometimes when you are really sick, even the doctors can’t fix you, so you just have to let go. She looked me in the eye and said, I don’t want you to get old and sick.
Then, when the grandma’s spirit came back as a stingray and later on as a vision to help Moana, she asked me why is grandma is sparkling blue now. I told her it’s because she comes back from the stars. I hesitated because I wasn’t sure if I should always teach her of the hard truth or something imaginary. But anyway, I said it already and she seemed content. But then Allie held my hand and looked me in the eye again, “Mama, I don’t want you to get old and turn into a stingray”. Ah I am going to miss these discussions!
Out of the blue, Allie told me that she doesn’t want to play with Ibu because she is not the same color. Gasp! I asked carefully, “what do you mean?”. She responded, “her skin is not the same color as me and you”. A wave of sadness and guilt came rushing in my mind, how could Allie say something like that, where is my pure and innocent baby!
She noticed how surprised I was. When I asked where did she learn to say something like that, she was hesitant and just said, “..from my brain”.
I guess this is just one type of those questions that parents get, difficult and important – I was very careful to make sure my answer was appropriate for her age and clear enough to help guide her future thinking. Do I go with facts? Do I go with fairy tales and analogy?
So many thoughts were in my mind, but I finally answered, “Do you think Ibu loves you, is she kind? Does she stay with you and makes you laugh?”. Allie nodded. “Then it doesn’t matter what is her skin color. People are all different, just like a rainbow they come in many shades of color, and that’s what makes the world beautiful”.
I hope that was good enough, and that I can continue helping Allie to be the better version of herself everyday!
Allie: Mama, can you bring me a present?
Mama: I can’t buy a present for you everyday, I am going to the office, not to the mall.
Allie: But I want a present
Mama: I will try, but I can’t promise you anything
Allie: Ok, but you should not give up, when we can’t do something, we have to keep trying
Allie: “Mama, I have some bad news and some good news”
Allie: “The good news is I don’t have the cough anymore”
Allie: “The bad news is I am still coughing”
“I want to go on an airplane, so I can see the whole world”
One day I hope you will get all the adventures your heart desires, little princess! And I hope I will get to hear all about it over a cup of hot chocolate with you 🙂